Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Book Review: How to Build a Girl: A Novel by Caitlin Moran

I relate to this book on a spiritual level.


What do you do in your teenage years when you realize what your parents taught you wasn't enough? You must go out and find books and poetry and pop songs and bad heroes—and build yourself.

It's 1990. Johanna Morrigan, fourteen, has shamed herself so badly on local TV that she decides that there's no point in being Johanna anymore and reinvents herself as Dolly Wilde—fast-talking, hard-drinking gothic hero and full-time Lady Sex Adventurer. She will save her poverty-stricken Bohemian family by becoming a writer—like Jo in Little Women, or the Brontës—but without the dying-young bit.

By sixteen, she's smoking cigarettes, getting drunk, and working for a music paper. She's writing pornographic letters to rock stars, having all the kinds of sex with all the kinds of men, and eviscerating bands in reviews of 600 words or less.

But what happens when Johanna realizes she's built Dolly with a fatal flaw? Is a box full of records, a wall full of posters, and a head full of paperbacks enough to build a girl after all?


So I have taken up walking as a form of exercise. It gets boring quickly so I thought I would try audio books. It was a success, it made me walk longer but then it got dark outside and I keep listening to it so it was too success in the entertainment side. I listened to the audio book narrated by Louise Brealey, who was really good and brought the character to life.

I could really related to Johanne, I got to say it weird how in Twenty years Britain has went full circle. High Streets empty and dogs being great friends. Wait, that last thing has always been tru
e.

I'm finding it hard to explain to this book with spoiling because I think a lot of it great parts you should come across yourself whilst reading. The relationship within the families are done well 

Overall, I gave this book 5 for 5 stars for entertaining bad decisions. This book dealt with a lot of issues really well whilst still being hilarious. I would highly recommend it to everyone.

P.S. Happy New Year.

Saturday, 27 December 2014

Christmas Time

Remember how I said we would be evaluating my goals for this year, this week: Well, that was a lie.
I'm instead going to write about Christmas because, Hey Christmas.

Christmas has came and went this year with barely flecker of thought of the actual day. It's been more fuck, I need buy gifts and I have no money. I didn't really buy anyone's gifts in time. I brought my mum a small thing but not much else.  Only my closest sister and little brother got their proper gifts.

The funny story of this year is my mum somehow managed to give my own gift to wrap amongst my sister. It was this notebook and soon as I saw it I knew it wasn't for my sister. Having her got me this I knew she had got me other stuff in the same line as it. Such as a 2015 Diary that she already told me about because I had been discussing buying one with her. Though, it is a weekly one instead of the daily one I buy every year to note down my thoughts of the day but that has never work in the three years I've tried so maybe I'll just start using a notebook as diary but write in it everyday instead.

My other siblings except the ones we never see are coming tomorrow which was one the main reason I didn't feel like going over my goals today. I've also decided to sort my bookcase and really should be sleeping but screw that.

See ya next week where I'll probably do what I promise to do. Till then I've put video up this on my Youtube channel, its weird time to come back.

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Calling this thing a Career is probably going too far

Haló, so we are five days till Christmas. Isn't that distressing? I don't why as my family have agreed everyone getting late presents except for my parents because they still under the impression that people in their 20s still get visits from Santa. God, I've been in my 20s for a year and over half now, that another distressing thing.

I've only really got my youngest sister and little brother's. I'm petty sure she doesn't read my blog but who knows this might be the week checks out what I'm producing for the internet. My brother (the older one of course) suggested that I say I do this thing to improve my career on my personal statement. I don't why I find that so laughable. I mean I do technically make money off this blog, but the way google ads works I've not made enough to actually receive any of those earning. And that's not a clue for you start clicking randomly on ads. I've got to say though, if on YouTube if I actually like the person video I'm more likely to finally click or watch an ad to see what the hell the ad trying to pug me. Maybe find this as career laughable as I'm pretty sure that its not career smart to bad mouth your hopefully future peers' work but that again if the only people I've actually been somewhat mean to are people I would avoid even if I have publicly rated a 1 star. Also I don't think I would cut off writer completely if I gave them one star unless I really hate their basic writing style which you can't tell unless you've read at least two of their books (not from the same series) or they've been writing for a while so they probably not going to get majorly better or their themselves are morally objectionable to me in a way I can't get over (which is the main reason the hype of Ender's Game will never get me) or probably the most likely none of the plot summaries of their other books speak to me.

Back to the point, maybe it due with the amount of complaining I do on here. Though, if anyone would like to pay me to complain about things then you welcomed to give me a offer. My email information can be found somewhere on here.

I guess nothing that much happen this week. My personal statement is what could be called a finished state but I'm not sure it actually conveys my passion for film. I think I actually regret looking up the tips before I had a finished version as it limited me and made me paranoid. They say they want a personal statement from YOU, but then they give a list of words not use whilst saying not to use a thesaurus. I say, use a thesaurus but only use the words you already knew before you looked. It can reminded you of words that you already knew which would fit better.

The thing I'm confused about, is should I go in to depth about film and book theory. It so hard and limiting that even being told what they look for gives me so little. I feel fake when I gushed about classic films like Sunset Boulevard, which is incredibility annoying considering it the only film I can think about.

Is it bad that I've sort of been threatening not coming home for Christmas next year, before I'm even accept anywhere, because the dorms are open and fun could be had by myself. I'm going to fill my dorm with lights and tinsel, and then neglect to take any of it down until I leave that room so the cleaners will talk about girl whose been celebrated Christmas for six months especially if I always make sure to have Christmas music blaring when ever they come.

I'm going to miss my dog and having a cat to annoy when I go to uni. I wish my application was sent away but I feel like I have to wait to hear back from my tutor before I send it and anyway I think I have to wait for her to write my reference before I can send away because I'm doing as a individual.

I'm going now as I have a long list of things to do this holiday. I mean I would like to have passed my theory test before I go back to college and have a organised room before I leave for uni. Also As are a thing I would like.

Farewell, join me next week where we will be sticking to traditional and evaluating this year's goals.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Book Review : Dead and Buried by Anne Cassidy

So the end is now.


It's been five years since Rose's mother Kathy went missing and, after recent events, all Rose wants to do is get on with her life. Which means taking a break from her complicated stepbrother, Joshua.

Then police officer Henry Thompson comes calling with bad news: a body has been found buried in the garden of Rose's old house. A body that has lain undiscovered for five years. The body of a missing teenage girl.

With Kathy and Brendan implicated in her death, Rose and Joshua have one last chance to clear their parents' names. But if they fail, the consequences will be deadly . . .


This is the first series where I should be able to say I review all the books but I never did get around to reviewing the first one. Here the reviews of the other two: Dead Rachel and Butterfly Grave. As always I only promise to be spoiler free for the book but there might be spoilers for the rest of the series so you should check out the reviews of them if you haven't read it.

I think the character were least likable state in this book. Joshua and Rose are just dicks to each other, Joshua peaks though due the danger he ignores. Due to the events of the last book you should feel all sorry for them but you know it would have been more interesting if Joshua had died. The romance part of this book is awkward and don't think it adds anything to the story except here a romance we always need a romance when the main character is girl. ALWAYS. Strong friendship or say SIBlING relationship would have been enough for the plot. Frankly, time is never given to the romance so doesn't feel like it belongs. If you delete the scenes that involved it then it would the story would read the same.

There is the magical wrap up where everything is peachy except for the emotional trauma. As for the rest of the plot, the mystery this time is cold case so it involves Rose getting away with interviewing adults and Joshua just randomly knocking on doors.

Overall, I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars for running from the mob. Whilst I enjoyed this story the characterisation was a bit lacking and not that satisfying considering its the last book in a four part series.

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Christmas Night In

You all be surprised to know that I did not go out on that Christmas Night Out with my siblings (or maybe you actually are, as this is the first you're hearing of as I have negated to actually check to see if I mention it in any of my previous blog and about not fancying going). Instead I slept the night away without spending any money. I had a list of reasons, varying on strength.

1. I don't actually have any money as I'm in debt to various family members. (Once again not letting my parents pick me any form of technology without me there to comment on tech and price. I don't care if was white TV, it was actually Full HD and £40 cheaper).
2. I had finished my Personal Statement and had to put the finishing touches on a Assessment for Sociology that I need to pass to sit the exam (basically its a extremely annoying nab).
3. I just didn't want to go. It did not sound entertaining or fun. Going to restaurant with tons of family that I probably won't say anything to during the whole thing, tolerable. Going to the square to look at the Christmas lights in freezing weather, hell even shows showed up: cool in a movie, not in real life. Sore feet from the walking/standing and the cold is just painfully. Going to a pub after is just too much. Especially, after finding out we leaving at half three for a five clock reservation really put me off. I hate going out with my oldest sister as I want to go home whilst she still in party mood. I'm just not that sort of person and I hate overcrowded places unless we all there for a reason like a concert or Disney world. Pubs on a Friday nights, we are not here for any real reason. I don't drink nor do I like being out for the sake of it.
4. This reason actually cancels out reason 2, but was the point of no return as I stayed up all night finishing my Personal Statement that could was actually a proper first draft. Sure, still had my doubts about its content. It also over its lines but well within its characters, so maybe just one paragraph? I also put the finishing touches to my assessment (and totally watching The Chair). It was too late to go to sleep and actually get up for college because my brain will not get up after two hours of a sleep during the morning times. Sure, I can go to sleep at 6pm and wake at 8pm but not in their am equivalents no matter what time I woke up at. I take as proof I'm actually vampire that my body wants to sleep during the daylight.
5. I had not all got ready for it. Not packed or decided what I was going to wear.

 So I went to the Psychologist last Monday, I was right I was not really for the Autism. I went in with my parents which is helpfully as much as it is destortive. She asked about why I wanted to study film and dad went on about me not getting stage flight. I don't want to be in front of the camera, except maybe in joke cameo or unimportant part that needs to be filled and we have no one else to do. I don't do well in front of the camera, any acting ability I have goes out the window.

I did an Autism-Spectrum Quotient quiz thing which I've already did and guess what I came on the spectrum side for the result and again when I redid it to see if anything has changes. So hopefully I will actually get referred to right person next time, to get diagnosed. I'm not depressed right now, sure I'm unhappy but I can tell you why and I'm not going around feeling numb to the world so I don't think therapy is needed for me and someone else would do better with the time.

I know Psychologist are meant to ask you dumb questions because it might you stumble across a good/important revelation. However, "Why do you want friends?" is just petty dumb. I have no real friends right now, like no one to hang out with that I share a common interested with or someone to just chat aimless with and I'm lonely. Therefore, I would like the company of a friend. The only reason answers I could give to that is humans are pack animals and therefore programmed to want the company of others. Also I'm not Sociopath so I want company of someone I feel comfortable around.

If you've actually my other posts then you know I've explored my loneliness on here and hope that uni will help me out of this feeling with the meeting of new people who won't have the friends there either.

Also I have lost the card that has the time for my next appointment. I know the date, but not the actual time. I think I know the time but I can't be certain.

I have started watching The Chair you know that tv show that Shane Dawson won. I plan to watch the two films produced once I'm done as well. Got to say that Anna film does look like something I would normally not watch as it currently looks pretentious as hell. Also I know the Executive producers had no say on the winner but I thought it wasn't right that she had known them personally. I also so far its seems like she been getting more attention from them but that just might be the way it was cut. I'm on ep four. I hope another season gets made as I really like the concept but I hope there don't use the same Production House as Before the Door have just been generally dicky. I guess the real lesson is that Zachary Quinto is a pretentious arsehole. Frankly, you shouldn't be picking favourites especially if your favourite is your friend that worked with before the show started.

I mean if you read the finial scripts for both then you would have know what you getting into. Also it Shane Bloody Dawnson it not like he known for his Disney like comedy. I would expect a vomit gag when dealing with him.

I thinking of doing a review of both films where I will try to be as objective as Sociologist, which brings up changes that might be happen to this blog's Wednesday posts that I'm not going to discuss till it happens.

See ya next week where we panic about Christmas and father time.

Saturday, 6 December 2014

I need a pause button for this thing.

My Personal Statement is yet to be finished. Not sure if I want to say more or not. It processing. I have edited stuff, there is parts that I am happy but there's not enough film stuff. Words are hard to make impressive when they're about yourself and not fictional characters that you destroy emotically.

I haven't wrote creatively in a while that is a issue. Also no successfully vlogging. I tried talking to the camera but it was late and I wasn't feeling it. Once Christmas holidays start maybe. Probably not. I still have a portfolio to edit. Why Brain? Why Brain?

I have a appointment for a Clinical Psychologist on Monday. Finally. I was referred over a year ago, they just discharged me without seeing me. I don't if that was them being confused from the time, my mum made me go in about sleeping all the time and they sent me questionnaires to fill out, let just I found the available answers lacking so I wrote in some better ones that I couldn't send in. They actually sent me appointment when I was in Holiday that happen when I was in another country so I obviously couldn't go nor could I tell them I couldn't go because I didn't know. 

They sent me Core 10. Like is that normal when you going to seeing about possible Autism/Aspergers? I couldn't find out by the power of Google. Maybe they just send to everyone who has appointment, otherwise I'm worried Monday is going be awkward afair because I'm petty okay on the mental health at the moment. Petty sure my emotions are reacting to my environments and not a just steady level of despair.

Though got to stay it hard to judge ones levels of panic being abnormal when one is attempting the process of UCAS. 

I have new TV, I let my parents pick it, I should have went with them. I mean they went for the more expensive one, because the cheaper one was white. If that really was the only other difference, besides brand, then cheaper is generally better especially when you already own people money. It good TV, I like it. My parents did spend 30 quid on a HMDI cable I don't need for my Skybox.

And because I have spent too much time bonding with TVs, I should be going to work on that UCAS thing and catch on college. Type to you, when I type to you.