Tramatic Open days

I went to an Open day for one of the university I'm interesting in attending. It was a problematic process getting there. I had to get up at 3.40 to catch the bus to get there. However, I only fell asleep at 11pm something and somehow slept through my alarm. Actually, I think I turned it off in my sleep. I'm a person who does that.

So we missed the first bus, we just missed the seconded bus because I had confused its time with the first bus we had missed. So we chased the bus and finally caught up with it an hour later. Way to go us.

Once we finally got into the city, we had to find where we were going as we first came across the the uni library and thought it was where we were meant to be. It wasn't there probably should have signs to point you in the right direction, considering they knew people would be visiting from different places and not know the city at all. Frankly, I don't know the street name for the nearest town to where I live.

I had a terrible hot chocolate and we eventually found the right building. We wait in line for a while, but due to it being "Over-subscribled" my mother couldn't go into the talk with me (I had to actually send her away.) I found out the horrifying fact that the course apparently only has 8-10 people on it. Small she said. Someone asked how many people apply and the tutor refused to answer. She said she didn't want to horrify us. Well, too late because there was more than ten people in the room and that talk had been given two times already (on another open day) and there was another that day. That probably 100-160 people who at at least showed up to the open day for the course. That information alone is horrifying. I really don't get why that would put people off applying or making that journey.

OMG, 10 people is tiny. Also they like having a lot of international students. HAHAHA *laughs manically whilst rocking self forward and backwards for hours*

Still applying because there isn't another good option anyway. Who knows I might be in that ten. *laughing and rocking begins again* I once won a contest for my drawing of my dream room and who knows how many probably didn't enter that.

 The worst part is I was already anxious about my portfolio. I have footage but nothing edited. I have a few ideas but not sure if any of them are good. I know what I want to do and I know its a competitive industrial but I didn't think the training would be that competitive. It was my favourite but I can't honestly plan to get in. It's contest and who knows what they will think of me.

I guess the worst part of creative careers is that any rejection is a rejection of your soul. * The laughing and rocking begins again but tears are clear to falling down checks*

I have the writer answer of saying it's all experience to draw on. *a single tear escapes this time, hints of past trauma*

I also got a grant for driving lessons and tests so YAY! Booked my theory test so that's happening. I brought things I shouldn't of have today. I've also decided not to make BookTube videos (the video even went up saying so) for a while, I just don't to have that self inflicted pressure to create when I have more important pressure to create something I could use as a portfolio.

Now I'm off to make a Big Tall Wish and try my best to believe in magic.