Saturday, 7 January 2012

The Joys of Dyslexia, Being a Young Carer and... Selective Mutism

I've known I have had Dyslexia since I was in Primary 4 (8 years old) and my mother was sure since Primary 2. Though, I never truly knew what it meant and for years I thought they were wrong since the letters didn't dance for me. No one had properly explained to me what it meant and what the symptoms were. When I finally look up the disorder, I realise it was obvious that I had it. I realise that the way my brain absorbed information and functioned as whole was what made me dyslexic or "Special". While I have over came the hurdle of reading (Though, I've gave up on the hurdles in PE), there will be stuff that probably will be issue for me for the rest of my life. I still have trouble telling the pasting of time; I'm incredibly clumsy and can't catch to save myself; I still to check my writing hand when some tells me to go left and I can't pronounce my favouritely, long words which is a pain in both Biology and English when I'm trying to show off. I also lean to the right and make contract with the wall often.
However, I can live with all this and having to always to double, double check my writing work. I have a whole bag of tricks to help me along. There are worse thing, even if it is tad ironic being Dyslexic Writer.
(For more information about the symptoms of Dylexia, this is a really good website:

Even within my own family, they are those who have things worse. I'm also one of the many Young Carers in Britain/World. I did have a had time accepting this since in my case things ain't at extremes and my story would never be Children in Need heart string pulling clip. I deal more with the emotional side and not having the same freedoms as other people my age. My mother, sister and little brother/nephew are all  disabled, but in almost completely different ways. My sister has been fighting for her whole life, having been born with non-functioning Kidneys. She was given mere weeks to live, but 20 years later she still around to argue with me and kick me off the computer (which is currently in her room). Yeah, we love each other and as close as can be.
She got a transplant when she was 4, but that's never the end of the story. She been on the blink of death and been times where she in & out the hospital for months. Though, she is thankfully, currently healthy. My mum is basically crippled and doesn't have a lot of energy anymore which makes my little brother being Autistic even more of a challenge, He can easily kick off and being around him almost always ends in a bruise. He does have his moments of loving behaviour.
As I said I'm not depended on too much and like most teenagers I could probably pull my weight more. My excuse is how stressfully exams and school is. I know, weak. Lucky enough, I'm getting support from the Princess Trust. It nice having to talk someone outside the family and without worrying about their reaction or feeling guilty about complaining.

I've also learn (it likely) I have Selective Mutism. This basically accounts for my trouble speaking at school and unfamiliar places. I basically speak fine when I'm comfortable within my situation and the people I'm with. For years my family and I, just thought I was extremely shy with people. I'm quite comfortable standing out from a crowd; for example having multi-coloured hair and wearing standout clothes...etc. I also like to perform and love singing (badly) in public. Finding out about Selective Mutism and that joke I'm mute has a line of truth could really improve things for me in school. Hopefully, it could mean teachers don't make such a big deal about me not responding to them. Having a name for something that just sounds nonsenical when I try to explain to people, about why I don't respond or talk to people, will be so much easier than just saying I can't/couldn't.

So basically, that what makes me a "Special" in the eyes of the school system and what I do my best to cope with. It does bring me down sometimes and I have fought with depression in the last year even, which was just so bad for my family. I'm still consider myself to be lucky and after all just breathing is a miracle.

Okay, that just too corny to end with. BOO!

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